The Breakup
by Dr.Indigo
Summary: Sequel to The Weekend Getaway. While Wander and Deedee are busy planning for their future together, Nefarious and Sylvia are busy plotting their revenge. From there things spiral wildly out of control, until at last Wander is forced to make an impossible choice. His Girlfriend or his Best Friend? Which will he choose? Read and find out.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everybody, and welcome to the sixth installment of my exciting seven-part Wander over Yonder Epic. Before we get started I just want to clear one little thing up to avoid any confusion. The meat of this story takes place approximately one month after the events of The Weekend Getaway. However, this chapter takes place two weeks prior to that. So in other words, Chapter One takes place sometime between the end of The Weekend Getaway and the true beginning of The Breakup. With that said, Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney. Nefarious and everything else is owned by Insomniac Games and Sony Interactive Entertainment. Enjoy.

The Breakup: Chapter 1.

( _Two Weeks Earlier_ )

Mal-Fax 214.

A dismal little sandpit of a planet just south of the Disraeli Asteroid Belt.

So in other words, it was about two million lightyears away from anything even close to resembling civilization.

Which is why the Jaxxon Corporation decided to build their Robot Factory there; so they would be free to build whatever kinds of unholy war machines they wanted without fear of government restrictions.

Regrettably, the company went belly-up about fifty years ago, and the factory was soundly abandoned; leaving behind only a few crates of spare parts and the pungent stench of decay.

However, despite being little more than a broken-down wreck, the old Robot Factory still had its uses. For example, it was the ideal location for a top-secret meeting.

Case in point.

Deep within the hulking structure, in what had once been some sort of boardroom, a most unusual gathering was taking place. Villains from all across the galaxy were there, sitting at what appeared to be a large, slightly moldy, boardroom table; impatiently awaiting the arrival of their mysterious host.

Most notable among them were Lord Hater and his faithful #2 Commander Peepers; both of whom were looking quite irritable, albeit for entirely different reasons.

" _PSSST!_ Peepers!" whispered the dark lord in a feeble attempt to act inconspicuous.

"What?" replied his cycloptic sidekick annoyedly.

"She's doing it again."

"Who's doing what?"

"That girl over there. She keeps staring at me whenever she thinks I'm not looking."

Slightly curious as to what his master was talking about, Peepers turned his gaze toward the other end of the table, where he found someone he did not recognize; a purple skinned humanoid with bushy black hair, dressed in camo and covered in battle scars. A tough customer, to be sure, but still the question remained; who was she?

"UGH! Did you see that? She just did it again!"

"So what?"

"So what? So _what_! Peepers, she's _purple_!"

"And?"

"And I _hate_ purple! This is hardly news, Peepers!"

"Sir, I know you like to fixate on things like this, but now is not the time. Our host could be here at any minute, and for all we know this could just be a…"

Whatever Peepers had meant to say died in his throat, as he was instantly cut off by the sound of an automatic door whooshing open.

Suddenly, all eyes were on the far side of the room, as their mysterious host stepped through the open passage. To everyone's surprise, he turned out to be a tall, lanky, one-armed robot-man with a see-through cranium, glowing red eyes, and a long, jagged scar running down the side of his face. However, what really got a reaction, was who was following the enigmatic automaton.

"Is that Sylvia?"

"What's she doing here?"

"What's going on?"

"Is that furry little weirdo behind this?"

"Oh yeah! Now it's a party!"

"I wonder if it's too late to go to law school."

 _CRACK!_

Instantly, the whole room fell silent as the blue Zbornak gave her knuckles a mighty crack; all the while shooting everyone a scowl that would scare the buckteeth off a beaver.

"Thank you, my dear." Said the strange robot to his accomplice, before shifting his focus back on the odd assembly before him. "Now then, I suppose you're all wondering why you're here."

"No duh, Poindexter." Said Emperor Awesome rudely. "Your invite said this was gonna be a rave."

"Mine said this was a singles mixer."

"I was promised a free portable TV!"

"WHA! What's happening? Am I still here?"

"SILENCE!" roared the scarred automaton; once again taking control of the conversation. "Now then, as I was saying. _I_ am Doctor Nefarious, Master of Evil. _This_ is my associate Ms. Sylvia Petrillo, whom I'm sure you're all familiar with. And _you_ are here because we all share a common enemy. _Dominator_!"

Nefarious paused for a moment to increase the dramatic effect, before continuing.

"For too long, that vile witch has toyed with our lives. Destroying our worlds. Decimating our armies. Humiliating us at every turn. But no more! The time has come, my fellow miscreants, to take our revenge! To strike at the heart of her whole operation, and bathe the cosmos in her blood!"

Another short pause soon followed, this time presumably so the irate robot could calm down just a bit.

"Now, I know what you're all thinking. Dominator's been inactive these last few months. Perhaps she's grown bored of the whole thing and will soon move on. Perhaps we should just let sleeping dogs lie."

"That's not what I'm thinking."

"Well you're wrong! This lull is nothing more than a clever ruse. A ploy to lure us all into a false sense of security so she can begin her endgame. But it's one that we can use to our advantage. Separately, none of us stand a chance against that mad harlot, but by banding together, under my leadership, we can hit her when she least expects it, and end her reign of terror once and for all!"

Yet again, Nefarious paused, this time for applause. But alas, no one clapped. A fact that was clearly not lost on him.

"So… any questions?" the scarred automaton asked awkwardly.

"Yes, I have one." Said Sourdough the Evil Sandwich, his tone as bitter and caustic as ever. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"Come again?"

"I mean, seriously, did you really think we'd all just fall in line if you started yelling loud enough? Who the heck are you anyway?"

"I… I told you, I'm Doctor Nefarious, Master of…"

" _Master_ of longwinded introductions." The Evil Sandwich said cuttingly. "Look pal, I don't know who you think you are, but I've been at this villain game for over sixty thousand years. And in that time, I've seen a million guys just like you. All loud talk and no teeth. So don't you come waltzing into my galaxy and start barking orders. Because I see right through you."

"And just what is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It _means_ that you're too weak to go after Dominator yourself, so you're trying to sucker all of us into doing it for you so you can take all the credit. Well, I don't work with losers who stand on other people's shoulders and call themselves tall."

Nefarious clearly did not take very kindly to this harsh criticism, as he began to grind his metallic 'teeth' in frustration. Fortunately, someone stepped in to defuse the situation before he could explode.

"Now hold on there, Sourdough." Said Grand Admiral Gazooks, supreme leader of the Schmartian Battle Fleet, his tone both passive and genial. "I'm not usually one to just go blindly trusting strangers, but this Doctor obviously went through a lot of trouble to bring us all here. And since none of us have a plan for dealing with Dominator, I say the least we can do is hear him out."

Sourdough gave no reply; he just sat there on his plate and muttered some inaudible curse. None of the other villains said anything either, although a few of them did nod in agreement. Clearly, the Admiral's voice still carried a little weight within the community.

"Thank you, Admiral." The scarred automaton said with just the slightest hint of sincerity. "Now then, are there any _real_ questions?"

"Yeah, I got one." Said Emperor Awesome suddenly. "Why do you keep talkin' about Dominator like he's a chick?"

"Uh, because she is one." Nefarious replied bitingly.

"No way."

"Yes way."

"You're kidding."

"Oh my Grop, did you seriously not know?" asked Sourdough mockingly. "It's like the worst kept secret in the galaxy. Everyone in the Villain Community knows that."

"B-But that's impossible! I can sense a hot babe from nine parsecs away, and I got nothin' from old lava-butt. You must be wrong."

"And you must've been dropped on your head as a baby." Replied the Evil Sandwich cuttingly. "I've never seen her face, but my ship ran a full bio-scan on her during our first encounter, and I can say with one hundred percent certainty that Dominator is a woman."

"I had my tech boys remotely hack her helmet so we could hear her voice without the filter."

"I could just smell it on her."

"Wait, were we supposed to think she was a man?"

"You see, Awesome." Sourdough chimed in again. "It was so blatantly obvious even a moron could figure it out."

"Yeah, _Awesome_." Hater cut in boastfully. "I was like the first one to figure out she was a chick."

"I rest my case."

"People, please! We're veering off topic here!" Nefarious said suddenly; in a clear and desperate attempt to regain control of the conversation. "Who cares what Dominator's gender is? We're going to _kill_ her! **_Remember_**? That's the whole point of this _stupid_ meeting! So you people can hear my brilliant plan and then pledge your undying loyalty to…."

" ** _WILL YOU STOP STARING AT ME_**!" Lord Hater roared viciously at the purple woman sitting across from him; once again derailing the whole proceedings.

"What?" asked the camo clad female with a sort of offhanded innocence.

"Don't you _what_ me!" the cloaked skeleton said venomously. "You've been cutting your eyes at me since I got here. What? You got some kinda problem with me or something?"

" _People_! This is hardly the time for…."

"It's your scar." The purple woman replied; blatantly ignoring the Doctor's plea. "The one on your chin. You got that from an arachnomorph didn't you."

"H-How did you know?"

"Oh my _god_! Who _cares_!"

"I know because it's my job to know. I hunt the little monsters for a living." She replied casually; once again ignoring the angry third party. "I also know that most guys with a mark like that are also missing at least three vital organs. So if you're still breathing after an ordeal like that, then that's got me thinkin' you must be one tough hombre."

"Really?" the dark lord asked disbelievingly; only to catch himself and adopt a more characteristically arrogant tone. "I mean, obviously, _I_ know I'm amazing. But… it's nice to know that you know it too."

"I'll bet." Replied the purple woman with a strange sort of smirk. "Name's Ripov, by the way."

"Hater. Lord Hater"

"Am I the only one taking this seriously?" Nefarious asked in a loud and almost acidic tone. "Because I'm starting to think that I am, and I **_don't_** like it!"

"Whatever, bro. I'm over this whole thing anyway." Said Awesome abruptly as he suddenly got up from the table. "Laters. Awesome out."

And with that, the preening man-shark made his way for the exit. Unfortunately, he didn't get very far; for the good Doctor quickly steeped in to block his progress.

"Hold it!" the enraged robot roared furiously. "I did **_not_** dismiss you!"

"Yeah, listen Dr. Nerd-icon or whatever your name is, for me _this_ doesn't get better. So… I'm gonna split."

"No, _you_ listen, Emperor **_Jackass_**. I put a lot of time and energy into this little gettogether, and I'm not about to let some musclebound meathead shoot all my hard work straight down the tubes. So you are gonna shut your _damn_ mouth and get back in your seat. **_Or else_**!"

"Or else what, Dr. Dorkinstien." The vain shark-man said mockingly.

But alas, Nefarious gave him no reply.

Instead, he just put his one good arm around the back of his neck and began to forcibly drag him towards the nearest window.

"Whoa! Hey! Hands off the merchandise! Easy! This cape is velvet, dude! _Velvet_!"

 _CRASH!_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

And before anyone could even try to move, the once great Emperor Awesome made a sickening _SPLAT_ as he collided with the scalding hot sea of sand and scorpion piss ten stories below.

Then, all was silence.

No one dared to make a sound. Most of them were still struggling to process what they had just witnessed. But alas, this silence was short-lived, as the Doctor turned to face his audience.

"Well then, now that we've established who's in charge, let's just skip right to the bottom-line." Said the scarred automaton; his tone unnervingly calm and even. "We all want Dominator dead. I have the plan. You have the means. And if we all work together, we all get what we want. That sound good to all of you?"

Everyone quickly nodded their heads in agreement; some more fearfully than others.

"Good. Because from this moment on, there will be no move to takeover my command. There will be no _mistakes_. There will be _none_ of your **_CRAP! NONE OF IT!_** "

The walls of the ancient structure gave a mighty shudder, as did nearly everyone else in the room.

"Work with me, and I will give you Dominator's head on a plate. Cross me, and I will gut you like a fish. Is that understood?"

Once again, everyone nodded in frightened agreement.

"Good. Now then, let's get to work."

End Notes:

For those of you wondering how a scrawny little nerd like Nefarious could overpower someone like Awesome, chalk it up to a combination of rage induced strength, the element of surprise, and the fact that Awesome only works on his glamor muscles while neglecting his core. That being said, I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter and I'll see you in the next one. Peace.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everybody, and welcome to the exciting second chapter of The Breakup. First of all, I wanna thank everyone who's already commented, favorited, and followed this story. Your support really means a lot to me. Second, Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney. Nefarious and everything else is owned by Insomniac Games and Sony Interactive Entertainment. Now with that out of the way, Enjoy.

The Breakup: Chapter 2.

( _Present Day_ )

"Coin and Song! Knife and Stick! Claw and Name! Blood and Feather! Through the Mist! Through the Mist! Through the Mist! Through the Mist! Through the Mist! I command you! _Appear_!"

Like countless times before, the ritual ended with a loud splash; signifying the arrival of something very large and heavy.

Slowly, the black marble columns of the great bath ceased their hideous whining and a familiar amorphous shape appeared within the sea of white steam.

" ** _Who dares to summon Ogilac, Lord of the Mists and Devourer of Souls?_** " asked the shape in a voice that was neither male nor female. " ** _What loathsome cur has the audacity to…_** "

"Cut the song and dance, Oogie. It's just me." Said Dominator, her tone an unusual blend of bored, anxious, and nauseous.

" ** _Ah, Deedee, my dear sweet child._** " The eldritch horror said excitedly; it's ambiguous voice echoing off the black marble. " ** _What ever can I do for you on this fine and fabulous day?_** "

"Well… it's about Wander."

" ** _Ah, yes. The handsome young vagabond who defied my decades old prophecy and transformed you into his Princess of Light._** "

"H-How do you know about that?"

" ** _Dear child, I am Ogilac, Lord of the Mists. I have infallible knowledge about everything._** "

"Oh yeah, then why was your prophecy completely wrong?"

" ** _Eh… let's make that approximate knowledge about most things._** " The shapeless horror admitted awkwardly. " ** _What I mean is, the prophecy I told you as a child wasn't wrong, per se. It was merely… one of several options._** "

"What?"

" ** _Oh, how do I explain this. You see… I don't… perceive time the same way you do. I can see the past, the present, and the future all happening simultaneously. But when it comes to the future I never just see one scenario. I see all possible outcomes. Do you understand?_** "

"I think so."

" ** _Good. Anyway, when your mother presented you to me as a child and you asked me what your future held, I saw three possible outcomes. At the time, only one was favorable to you, so that's the one I chose to share with you._** "

"So in other words, you lied to me."

" ** _Technically yes, but more technically no. The Future I told you about was always a possibility. It's just… well, I figured if the first future came to pass, there'd be no need to tell you about the others; you'd have your King of Darkness and the universe would be your plaything. And if the second came true, your heart would be filled with too much love to care._** "

"And the third?"

" ** _You'd have died on Mars with your mother._** "

"Oh."

" ** _Do you hate me, child?_** "

"Oh, Oogie, how could I." Dominator said warmly. "You were there for me almost my entire life. You were my first real friend, and I could never hate you. No matter what."

" ** _That… is very good to hear._** " The shapeless horror said sweetly; clearly choked up by the sentiment. " ** _So, what is it you wanted to talk about?_** "

"Oh, right." Replied the reformed villainess as her focus shifted back to the matter at hand. "Well, it all started a few hours ago,"

XXX

( _Two Hours Earlier_ )

All was peaceful within the heavily fortified death machine what was Lord Dominator's Lava-Ship, and the former villainess was bored out of her friggin' skull.

It had been almost two months since that glorious night when Dominator had forsaken the ways of evil, and while she had yet to regret this decision, there were days when things got awfully dull. Like today for example. With an almost full tank of Volcanium X she had no need to destroy any planets. And without a planet to destroy she had no need for her army of Dom-Bots, so they were all running on guard mode. And with no army to lead she had next to no use for her signature suit of armor, so she just left it sitting on her giant throne; at the ready, just in case she ever needed it. Although, in truth she doubted she ever would. After all, what did the wife of a pacifist need with armor designed only for war?

But alas, I once again diverge from the point.

All that you need concern yourself with is that Dominator was bored; just about as bored as any living thing can get. And when someone like her gets bored, things tend to get a little… _weird_.

Case in point.

"Guess who~" the former villainess purred teasingly; the opening move to one of her favorite coquettish games.

"Oh, hey Deedee." Wander replied; clearly forcing his enthusiasm. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"No, I was just…" Dominator answered, clearly thrown by his lackluster response. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just… I've been thinking."

"About Sylvia?"

"Among other things."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Eh… I guess."

And with that, the couple readjusted themselves so that Wander was sitting comfortably in his larger girlfriend's lap.

"It's just… I've been in this galaxy for over four years now, and… maybe I've overstayed my welcome." The furry nomad said solemnly; before backpedaling just a bit. "Eh… What I mean is… ever since I started wandering, I've never really been comfortable staying in one place any longer than I need to. And well… the galaxy's much better off now than when I first got here, so… maybe it's time I moved on."

"Makes sense to me." Replied Dominator; trying to sound as supportive as possible. "So what's the problem?"

"The problem is Sylvia." He answered bluntly, before letting out a dismal sigh. "I really messed things up between us. I can't just leave without trying to make things right."

"Okay, then let's go find her."

"It's not that simple. As far as she's concerned, we're both responsible for destroying her home planet. There's no way she'd be willing to forgive me so easily. Not unless… I do something drastic."

"Something like what?"

"Well… making things right with Sylvia would take time; maybe even years. And the only way I'd be able to make that work is if I… distance myself from you."

Dominator felt a sudden sharp pain in her chest.

"A-Are you saying you wanna breakup with me?"

"No!" Wander replied swiftly. "That's the absolute last thing I want. The thought of being without you for even one day makes me sick to my stomach. It's just… the thought of Sylvia hating me for the rest of her life doesn't make me feel too good either."

"So… what exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I can't have it both ways; not anymore. I can't be her friend and your boyfriend. I'm going to have to make a choice."

"Wander…. I…"

"I know what you're gonna say. That Sylvia will be dead in fifty years, while you'll be with me the rest of my life. That I've left behind dozens of other companions and that this shouldn't be any different. That this whole thing should be a no-brainer. Well, I'm sorry but it's not."

"Actually, I was gonna say, if you really wanna be with Sylvia, I'd be willing to wait for you."

"What?" he said disbelievingly.

"Well… yeah, it's like you said. Sylvia will be dead in fifty years, and we'll both still look the same. If she really means that much to you, I can wait a few measly decades before we tie the knot."

"Deedee… do you realize what you just said? Fifty years is still a really long time, even for people who live as long as we do. A lot can happen."

"I know. But you risk everything, every day, for the happiness of others. So why shouldn't someone else be willing to do the same for you?"

Wander gave no immediate response, but his expression perked up considerably. And he began to stare at her with eyes full of loving admiration.

"What?" she asked confusedly.

"Nothing. I just… sometimes I can't believe how far you've come since we first meet. You've become such a sweet, compassionate young woman, and you're even more beautiful to me now than you were those many, many months ago."

"Aw~ Pumpkin~ That's so… so…"

But before Dominator could finish whatever saccharine sentiment she wanted to express, a painful knot formed in the pit of her stomach.

Then, as quick as a bolt of lightning, something warm and thick shot up through her esophagus and into the back of her throat.

XXX

( _Back in the Present_ )

" ** _You threw up on him?_** " the eldritch horror asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah, but I got most of it on myself." Dominator admitted embarrassedly. "That's why I rushed down here to take a bath."

" ** _Oh my, no wonder you needed someone to talk to._** " The shapeless nightmare said sympathetically. " ** _But_** **_tell me, do you really intend to wait fifty years?_** "

"I do." She answered plainly. "I know it sounds nuts, but I've waited almost my whole life for Wander. And if it means I can give him just a little extra happiness, I can wait a few more decades."

" ** _Child, I don't think that sounds nuts at all._** " the Lord of the Mists said sweetly. " ** _It just goes to show how far you've come. And to tell you the truth, I couldn't be prouder._** "

"Thanks, Oogie. I… I…"

The words died in Dominator's throat as she began to dry heave uncontrollably.

" ** _Oh goodness, are you alright, dear?_** "

"Yeah… I'm good…" she replied between heaves. "I've just… been a little sick lately… these last few weeks… probably just a bug… or something…"

" ** _Yes…. Just a bug._** " The ancient horror said cryptically. " ** _Anyway, it's nothing you need to worry about right now. You've got enough on your plate today as it is._** "

"What does that mean?" asked Dominator, as her gaging spell finally ceased.

" ** _Oh Deedee, my dear sweet sensitive little girl. I have existed far longer than you can possibly imagine; since before the beginning of your universe. And in that time, I have guided the fates of more beings than I care to remember. But not a single one of them has ever meant as much to me as you do._** "

"Eh… what?"

" ** _Ever since you were a child, you've looked upon me not with fear or reverence, but as a friend. You talk to me like I'm a real person and I… I just want you to know… that your friendship has made my everlasting existence all the more bearable._** "

"Oogie… you're scaring me. What's this all about?"

" ** _Oh, how I wish I could tell you, child. But I cannot. The laws of my reality are very strict on this sort of thing._** " The ancient abomination said somberly. **_"All I can say is that today is very important, and you must be ready for whatever happens._** "

"I don't understand."

" ** _Today is a crucible, dear child. And not just for you, but for countless others as well. Fate is testing all of you today. Some will pass. Some will fail. Most will die in inconvincible agony. But fear not, little one. Stay strong and keep close to your beloved, and you will survive the coming storm._** "

"Oogie… I'm really confused right now."

" ** _I know, dear one. And for that I apologize. But my time in this reality grows short. And I must leave you now._** " The shapeless figure said remorsefully. " ** _But fear not, if all goes as it should, we will speak again. But not for at least seventeen years._** "

"Seventeen years." Dominator parroted confusedly. "What am I gonna be doing for…"

But before she could finish her inquiry, the ancient horror vanished in thin air; returning to the nightmare world from whence it came.

"Oogie. Oogie, please come back! I don't understand…"

 ** _BOOM!_**

Suddenly, an explosion rang out from some distant corner of the mighty warship; rattling the walls and rippling the bath water.

"Ugh!" groaned the former villainess in exasperation. "Now what?"

End Notes:

And… that's the end of this chapter. Wow, I got that one done a lot faster than I thought I would. Anyway, thigs should be heating up really soon, so stay tuned and don't forget to comment/favorite/follow on your way out. Until next time, Peace.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello everybody, and welcome to Chapter 3 of The Breakup. Before we begin I'd just like to warn everyone that this is the chapter where things start to go downhill for some of your favorite characters. I've made certain creative choices within this chapter which you may not agree with, but I assure you I'm doing this for the benefit of the story as a whole and not just to torture you. So please, bear with me until the end on this one. That being said, Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney. Nefarious and everything else is owned by Insomniac Games and Sony Interactive Entertainment. So without any further delay, Enjoy.

The Breakup: Chapter 3.

( _In the Depths of Space_ )

 ** _BOOM!_**

 ** _ZAP!_**

 ** _BANG!_**

 ** _POW!_**

 ** _BLAM!_**

 ** _CHIKA-CHIKA-LICKA-LICKA!_**

 ** _WHAM!_**

The area was a cacophony of rockets and laser fire, as the armada closed in around the menacing Lava-Ship. Vessels of every size, shape, and configuration were locked in a tight, three-dimensional pincer formation; eliminating any chance of escape while simultaneously providing each craft with the opportunity to unload their various armaments onto their entrapped target.

Naturally, their weapons were far too weak to deal any serious damage to the imposing war machine, but then again that wasn't really their objective.

For you see, dear readers, the purpose of this mighty fleet was not to destroy, but to distract.

Amidst this hellstorm of light beams and plasma bombs, a small, translucent, vaguely square shaped object sailed effortlessly through the onslaught; seemingly invisible to every other ship in the vicinity.

Slowly, the strange whatsit inched its way toward the larger vessel, until at last it made contact. Then, like a phantom in the night, it phased through the outer hull and out of sight.

XXX

( _A Short Time Later in Cargo Bay 3_ )

 ** _ZIP!_**

 ** _SHWING!_**

 ** _WHICK!_**

 ** _FOOM!_**

 ** _BONG!_**

 ** _PUTTAH-PUTTAH!_**

 ** _BOINK!_**

Went the translucent cube as it suddenly regained its solidity; revealing itself to be an outdated and garishly colored van.

Moments later, the back doors of said van flew open and a battered automaton came crawling out; his one good hand clutching his metallic lower lumbar.

"AH! My back!" the metal-man groaned miserably as he attempted to soothe his aching artificial spine. "Hater, you moron! You have over two thousand ships in your fleet! Why the _hell_ did you pick this flying _cracker box_!"

"Hey, you said you wanted something that flies below radar and this baby flies below radar." Hater shot back as he climbed out of the driver's seat.

"I said I wanted a _ship_ , not a **_closet_**!"

"I didn't hear you complaining yesterday when you were hooking up that matter-energy transmooker to the carburetor."

"That's matter-energy _transmuter_ , you dolt! And I complained plenty!"

"Both of you, shut it!" said Peepers as he climbed out of the back after them. "This is supposed to be a stealth mission for Grop's sake."

"He started it." Replied the cloaked skeleton childishly.

"I don't care who started it. I'm ending it."

"Fine." The dark lord said in a huff as he crossed his arms immaturely.

"Oh, lighten up, Killer. Today's gonna be a great day." Said a certain purple-skinned camo-clad female as she climbed out of the passenger's seat. "I mean, look at us. A ragtag group of misfits, storming one of the most heavily fortified battleships in the known universe, armed only with our wits and a half-assed plan. Good Grop, it's days like this that just make you glad to be alive."

"Somewhere there are men with butterfly nets looking for you, aren't there." Nefarious said dryly.

"Ugh! Can we please just get this over with already!" said a familiar blue Zbornak in exasperation as she climbed out the back with three duffel bags in tow; each one a distinct color. "I've got better things to do than hang out with you idiots."

"Yes, yes, alright. Everyone grab your duffel bag and let's bring it in." the mad doctor commanded casually.

Without hesitation, the other members of the raiding party obeyed; Ripov taking the red bag, while Peepers and Sylvia took the blue and green ones respectively. Then, once everyone had their gear, they all moved into a close huddle.

"Alright people, just like we practiced. Hater, you and Ripov head on up to the store room on Level 7-B and wait for my signal."

"Got it."

"Good. Now while you're doing that, Peepers and I will head straight for the core to hook up his Frostonium Ray. If all goes well, the entire ship will be frozen in a matter of minutes."

"Check."

"Now this ship is designed to adapt its way out of any situation, so that ice won't hold it for long. According to my calculations, once the whole ship is covered it'll only take about ten minutes for it to force its way out. So Hater, the moment you see ice forming in that store room, you activate the device in your duffel bag, but not one second before. Understand?"

"You got it."

"Good. Now that store room lies directly below the ship's armory, where Dominator has a surplus of Nova Combusters. So when that device goes off, it'll trigger a chain reaction that will obliterate this ship and everyone on it."

"I like~ I _like_ ~"

"Don't get antsy, Marrow Brain. This next part is important. That device is set to go off five minutes after activation; any longer and we risk the ship breaking free early. So you have exactly that long to get back to the van. Is that clear?"

"Crystal."

"Excellent. Now as for you, Sylvia."

"I know my part." The Blue Zbornak said sternly.

"Yes, I'm sure you do. But don't forget. We need Dominator alive. At least long enough for the GV Community to dispense a little _mob justice_."

"Don't worry, you'll get her. Just as long as you keep up your end of the bargain."

"Yes, yes, don't have a conniption. The latest intel puts Wander all the way on the planet Kazazzle. Just do like we planned and he'll never know you were involved."

"Good."

"Good. Now let's get moving. We've already wasted too much time." The scarred automaton said as they broke off into their assigned groups. "And remember, for this mission, we're falling back on the Ancient Code of the Pan-Galactic Corsairs, 'Anyone who falls behind, is left behind'."

And with that, they all headed off to perform their respective assignments.

XXX

( _Several Minutes Later on Level 5-C_ )

The doors gave a gentle _whoosh_ as they slid open, allowing the dastardly duo to pass through unmolested.

Ever the good soldier, Peepers took a moment to examine his new surroundings and immediately sensed that something was off.

The room was nothing like he'd expected, for it contained no fusion reactor or anything that even remotely resembled a power source. Instead, the room was filled with small towers covered in blinking lights, and at the very center there was a strange looking computer terminal.

Something wasn't right here.

He could feel it in his gut.

"This… doesn't look like a power core." The Grand Watchdog said tentatively as he followed his mechanical accomplice into the strange room.

"Very observant, Commander. It's not." The mad doctor said casually as he slowly approached the central terminal. "This room houses the ship's CPU. We are literally standing within the brain of Dominator's entire operation."

"But I thought we were going for the core. That was the plan, remember?"

"Yes, well… I'm afraid I haven't been entirely honest with you." The metal-man said sinisterly. "But don't worry, you and I can get the job done from right here."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's simple. Hater and Ripov are merely a distraction. Decoys to keep the Dom-Bots off our backs, and feed them false intel should they get captured."

"What!"

"Let's face it, your boss is an idiot. He's bound to botch up this operation somehow. And when he does, he'll most likely try to rat us out just to save his own neck."

Peepers wanted to argue, but unfortunately the Doctor's logic was airtight.

"You… have a point." The Grand Watchdog admitted.

"Exactly. But while the guards are busy storming the core, we'll be safely down here; tightening the rope around Dominator's neck."

"Uh-huh, and how are we gonna do that exactly?"

"Simple. You see that panel on the wall over there?"

"Yeah."

"Well, behind it there's a node; one of over two hundred spread throughout the ship to ensure that energy is distributed evenly. If you hook your ray up to that, it'll have the same effect as it would hooking it up to the core."

"Okay… but while I'm doing that, what are you gonna be doing?"

"Setting up a little insurance." The metal-man answered as he began typing away at the lone computer terminal. "I'm uploading a virus directly into Dominator's mainframe. Once the ship is completely encased in ice, the virus will kick in and send the core into meltdown; triggering a chain reaction that will blow this hulk into a billion tiny pieces."

"Are you sure that's safe? I mean, without a timer there's no way to know…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, would you like to check my math?" Nefarious shot back sarcastically. "Peepers, for God's sake, I'm Doctor _Frickin'_ Nefarious, I know what I'm doing. I've run over eight hundred and fifty computer simulations. I've considered every possible angle. I've even planned several emergency exit strategies just in case. I've _got_ this! So just go do your job and I'll do mine."

"Alright, Alright, _Jeez_." Replied Peepers, before setting off to the designated panel.

About halfway to his destination, the Grand Watchdog stopped dead in his tracks.

From the beginning, something about this whole operation seemed suspicious, but Peepers could never quite put his finger on what was off.

Until now.

"Say, Doc."

"What?"

"How do you know so much about this ship anyway?"

Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room seemed to change. All of the tension from mere moments ago began to dissipate as the scarred automaton's demeanor became more calm and relaxed.

"Let's just say… its creators are of particular interest to me." He replied cryptically. "Tell me, Commander, have you ever heard of the Lombaxes?"

"No, I can't say that I have."

"Not surprising. They've been extinct, more or less, for quite some time now. But once, a long time ago, they were one of the most technologically advanced races in the universe; second only to the Zoni. Flawed, of course, as all organics are, but… they knew how to make a good weapon."

"Uh-huh… and these… Lombaxes, you're saying they built this ship?"

"Oh my, yes. Eons ago, during the Great War, the High Mechanist himself designed this vessel, for the sole purpose of _annihilating_ Cragmite Nesting Planets. Oh~ Just imagine it, Peepers. Whole generations of the vile abominations, wiped out in minutes. _Oh_ ~ Is it any wonder they chose to call it… _the World Eater~_ "

A sudden chill ran up Peepers' spine. Something about the way Nefarious spoke about this ship made him very uncomfortable.

"Tragically, even the Lobaxes feared its awesome power. So when the war ended they had it decommissioned and set it adrift into the empty part of the universe. I have no idea how that twit Dominator managed to find it, or how she got it working again, but I guess that's just one of life's little mysteries."

"Yes, I suppose it is." The Grand Watchdog replied tentatively, still a bit unnerved by his associate's sudden change in demeanor.

"Indeed. But story time is over. Now get into position!"

Despite his lingering suspicions, Peepers obeyed the irate automaton, and quickly closed the gap between himself and the aforementioned wall panel.

Upon reaching his destination, the Grand Watchdog noticed a strange handle jutting out from the panel. Feeling curious, he pulled down on said handle, exposing the inner wall. However, instead of a mass of wires and circuitry like he'd expected, he saw only a dark, empty shaft that seemed to go on forever in all directions.

"Hey, Doc." Peepers called to his mechanical accomplice. "I think you made a mistake. There's no node back here. Just some kind of garbage chute."

"Really? How _odd_."

Just then the Grand Watchdog felt something sharp run through the back of his chest, and his body instantly went limp.

"Oh my, Peepers. You don't look so good." Nefarious said mockingly as he lifted up the impaled Watchdog so he could look him in the eye. "Maybe you should take a little nap."

"Doctor… what are… you doing…" Peepers struggled to say as his body grew colder by the second.

"Oh, dear sweet Commander, I'm afraid I haven't been entirely honest with you." The mad doctor said sinisterly as his metal mouth warped into a malevolent grin. "You see, I never wanted to _destroy_ this magnificent war machine. On the contrary, I've got something _much_ more interesting in mind. A shame you won't be around to witness my greatest triumph, but… what can you do? Au revoir, mon commandant."

And with that, Nefarious threw the dying Watchdog into the open garbage chute.

As he fell, Peepers could hear the Doctor's cruel laughter echoing off the metal walls of the shaft, but despite his best efforts, the Grand Watchdog could not find the strength to shout back one final curse.

So instead, he used what little strength he had to mutter a simple dying message.

"Forgive me, Sir. I've failed you."

Then all was silence.

End Notes:

So… that happened. I know it might seem cruel, but I do have an endgame with this series and this chapter plays a vital part in that. Rest assured, this whole thing will end happily, relatively speaking, but to get there we're gonna have to go through some dark tunnels. With that said, I hope you've all enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you in the next one. Peace.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello everyone, and Merry Christmas. As a special present to all my faithful followers, here's the latest chapter of The Breakup. As always, Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney, and Nefarious and everything else is owned by Insomniac Games and Sony Interactive Entertainment. So with that out of the way, here it is. And Happy Holidays.

The Breakup: Chapter 4.

 ** _BOOM!_**

The walls rattled as the ship took yet another direct hit to the starboard hull; the ninth one in the last ten minutes.

The mighty warship was indeed taking a mighty pounding; although you'd never know it to look at it. For every time a bomb or plasma blast would pierce its thick exterior, the hole would almost immediately seal itself up. It would seem that even with all their forces combined, the villains of this galaxy were no match for the awesome power of Lord Dominator.

However, that didn't mean they couldn't give her a good shakeup.

"Uggggghhhhhhhhh…" the former villainess groaned as she fell to her knees yet again; the third time in the last five minutes. "What's happening to me…"

A very good question.

And here's the answer.

Shortly after exiting her private bath, Dominator was struck by a sudden attack of nausea, followed swiftly by an equally unexpected loss of equilibrium. Apparently, whatever mystery ailment she was suffering from affected the inner ear as well as the stomach. And with the whole ship shaking like a paint mixer every five seconds, it was all she could do to stay on her feet.

So with all of that working against her, coupled with the fact that she was currently wearing nothing but her favorite bathrobe, the once great and terrible Dominator was now little more than a child trying to take its first steps; a wet, naked, and unbelievably nauseous child.

"Ugh… what else could go wrong…"

 ** _WHAM!_**

Before she even knew what had happened, the former villainess was lying flat on her back like a turtle in the sun; her jaw throbbing like crazy.

Moments later, she felt something cold and metallic clamp down around her wrists; presumably handcuffs, not that she had a chance to look, mind you. For shortly afterward, something grabbed her by the collar and jerked the reformed marauder back to her feet.

That's when she saw her.

Those flaring nostrils. Those gnashing teeth. Those eyes so full of rage. They could only mean one thing.

"Sylvia?" Dominator asked groggily as her senses began to return.

"That's right." The blue Zbornak said menacingly as she let out a snort of contempt. "And as much as I'd love to stand here and break your neck, I have a deal to complete. So you'd better not give me any trouble, otherwise I just might…"

 ** _WHAM!_**

Without even thinking, Dominator headbutted her would be captor right in the face; causing her to let go of her robe and stumble back a few steps. Then, letting her warrior instincts takeover, the former villainess smacked her attacker upside the head; which in turn caused the cuffs restraining her to shatter into a million tiny pieces.

"AKK!" Sylvia howled as she feverishly tried to soothe her aching cheek. "Good Grop! That stings! How did you even do that?"

"Easy. I just swung my arms and let the momentum do all the work."

"Not _that_ , you idiot!" the aching Zbornak replied sharply. "Those were Level 10 Stasis Cuffs. You shouldn't even be able to move."

"Level 10 _what_?" Dominator asked disbelievingly, before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"And just _what_ the heck is so funny?"

"I… I'm sorry… it's just… just…" she said as she struggled to reign in her girlish giggles. "It's just… there's no such thing as Stasis Cuffs."

" _What_?"

"Yeah, I mean, the whole concept behind them is totally ludicrous. That's why they only exist in crappy, low budget sci-fi movies; like 'Tears from Talos 3' or 'Secret Agent Clank'."

"But… but that's impossible. He swore to me they'd work."

"Yeah, well, I hate to tell you this, but it sounds like you got ripped off. Those were just ordinary handcuffs. And pretty cheap ones too."

"But he said… And I and… And Hater… And the guys and… Oh Grop, not again."

"Yeah… I have no idea what you're talking about, but I assume it has something to do with whatever's happening to my ship."

"Yes, I mean no, I mean… I don't even know what's going on anymore."

"Yeah, well, while you're figuring it out, maybe we should go find Wander. He might know something. And even if he doesn't, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

"Wait, are you saying Wander's here? As in _right now_?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Oh… _Grop._ " The blue Zbornak said as the color drained from her face. "I think I've been double-crossed… possibly _triple_."

XXX

( _Elsewhere on the Lava-Ship_ )

 ** _BOOM!_**

And down went another Dom-Bot.

The twelfth one in the last eleven minutes.

Lord Hater was in rare form today.

He didn't quite understand why or how, but for some strange reason the dark lord was on fire.

It was almost as if the last two years had never happened and he was once again the Greatest in the Galaxy.

He was at an absolute loss to explain it, but he liked it.

He liked it very, _very_ much.

"Whoo-Wee!" Ripov exclaimed as she walked over to give the cloaked skeleton a hard yet congratulatory pat on the back. "That was some fancy shootin' there, Killer. Nice work."

"What, that? _PFFFT_! That was nothing?" Lord Hater replied boastfully. "You should see me when I'm actually trying."

"Well, the days not over yet. Maybe I'll get lucky." The camo-clad female said with a wink. "Anyway, we're almost there. We'd best keep moving."

And with that, the dastardly duo pressed onward to their destination.

"So Killer, about what you were saying before. You really have no idea what your origin story is?"

"Yeah, well… it's not like it's a big deal or anything. I just woke up one day and I was like this. So what?"

"I wasn't judging you. I was just curious. And besides, a lack of an origin story can be very beneficial to someone in your line of work. It gives you an air of mystery. Chicks dig that kind of thing."

"Really?"

"Totally."

Were it not for his total lack of flesh and blood, Lord Hater would've started blushing right then and there.

Never in all his life had he felt so… _giddy_.

He did not understand this strange new sense of euphoria, nor did he recognize its source, but the dark lord did not care. For he was certain that nothing could ever bring him down from such a high.

"Hey, Killer. Hold up there a second." Ripov said suddenly, bringing the cloaked skeleton back to reality. "There's something screwy going on here."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, according to the Doc's instructions we should've reached that storeroom by now. But just look around you, we haven't passed a door in almost twenty minutes."

"Oh yeah, I guess that is kinda weird. You think Nefarious got his intel wrong or something?"

"Maybe, but there's something else that's been bothering me. Did you notice anything strange about that last wave of Dom-Bots?"

"No, I don't think so. Why?"

"Well, it might just be my imagination, but it almost looked like those last ones were moving slower than normal. And I think I saw one of 'em freeze up for a second."

"Maybe Dominator's trying to download something." The dark lord reasoned. "The computers on my Skullship always get a little glitchy whenever we do a systems update."

"Maybe… but I'm not so sure." The purple-skinned female replied suspiciously. "Hold on, let me take a look at something."

And with that, Ripov removed the duffel bag from her shoulder and proceeded to examine its' contents.

"Oh boy." She said dumbfoundedly. "Killer, you might wanna have a look at this."

Without hesitation, Lord Hater complied, and upon examining the inside of the open duffel bag he found not a powerful incendiary device like he'd expected, but rather what appeared to be an alarm clock meticulously jury-rigged to a golf cart motor.

"What the heck?" he exclaimed, clearly stupefied.

"Killer, I hate to say it, but it looks like we've been snookered."

XXX

( _In a Hallway near the Throne Room_ )

"You **_idiot_**!" Dominator exclaimed as she and Sylvia continued their journey to find their mutual fuzzy friend. "How could you let Nefarious onto my ship?"

"Cut me some slack, I'd never even heard of this guy until last month. I thought he was just some ran-do villain you screwed over." The blue Zbornak said defensively. "Besides, what's the worst he could really do?"

"That's just it, you never know what this guy's gonna do; he's _insane_! One minute he's declaring war on all organic life, the next he's trying to destroy the whole dang universe; he's all over the place!"

"Okay! I screwed up! But what are we gonna do about it now?"

"Well, first thing we gotta do is find Wander. Then we…we… _URK_!"

The words died in Dominator's throat as it quickly filled with bile. Another sudden attack of nausea; this one much stronger than the last. Fortunately, she was able to force the unspeakable mess back down her esophagus. Unfortunately, much like before, the nausea was accompanied by a sudden loss of equilibrium, and her knees soon buckled under the weight of her own hair.

"Oh no. Oh no no no!" the former villainess cried as she nearly fell flat on her face.

Luckily, before she could hit the floor, someone took her by the arm and used it to prop her up like a scarecrow. To her unimaginable shock, that someone turned out to be Sylvia.

"Are you okay?" the blue Zbornak asked, her voice containing only the slightest trace of concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just a little bug." Dominator replied, before she felt the sudden urge to bring up something that had been eating at her for quite some time. "Look, I know this probably doesn't mean much, but… I'm sorry."

"What?" went Sylvia, clearly not believing what she'd just heard.

"You heard me. And I don't care if you forgive me or not. Heck, I don't even care that you tried to have me killed. I mean, it's not like you're the first." The former villainess continued, feeling quite vulnerable, both physically and emotionally. "Just please, stop taking it out on Wander. You have no idea what this is doing to him."

"I… I don't know…"

"Look, what happened to Zbor wasn't his fault. It was all mine. Wander wanted to try and stop the drill but I convinced him it was too late, which it was FYI, but that's not important. What is important is that Wander doesn't deserve all this hate you're giving him. If you wanna hate someone hate me, I'm used to it. But Wander, he's like…"

"The greatest guy in the universe." Sylvia cut in; finishing Dominator's sentence.

"Yeah, exactly."

"You really do care about him, don't you?"

"Of course I do, I love him."

"Huh…" the blue Zbornak said; her tone an odd blend of sadness and relief.

Unfortunately, before the conversation could go any further, the duo suddenly found themselves in Dominator's Throne Room; where they were met with a most alarming sight.

There, in the shadow of Dominator's infamous suit of armor, they found the very drifter they'd been searching for; though not as they would've hoped. For you see, dear reader, the orange nomad was trapped in the molten grip of one of the former villainess' very own Dom-Bots.

"WANDER!" they both shouted, but it was Dominator who sprang into action.

With her equilibrium suddenly restored, the lime-skinned woman ran to her beloved's aid. But before she could even get close enough to hear him try to call out her name, she was quickly blocked by a wall of her supposedly loyal lava-bots; each one with a death ray trained directly on her head.

"Hey! What's the big idea!" Dominator shouted furiously. "Get outta my way, you stupid rust buckets!"

But alas, they did not budge; not even a single inch.

"What's the matter, you broke or something? I said, **_MOVE IT_**!"

But again, they did not comply.

"UGH! What is wrong with you tin cans? Will one of you at least _say_ something!"

" **Alright then.** " Said the one in the middle. " **Piss off, you Cow.** "

" _Excuse_ me?"

" **You heard him.** " Said the one on the far right. " **Go stuff yourself, you inbred Slut.** "

"Why you insolent little…"

" **Ah, shut up.** " Said one just to her left.

"What the… where did… Hey! You can't talk to me like that! I'm your master! I own you!"

" ** _AH_** -HA-HA-HA-HA! **_AH_** -HA-HA-HA-HA- ** _HA_**!" went a familiar and bone chilling voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once. "Not anymore~"

Just then, the air was shattered by a horrifying sound; like liquid metal scrapping against a solid.

On a reflex, Dominator turned toward its source, and there, to her great alarm, she saw a most unbelievable sight.

Her armor.

The symbol of all her dark and violent deeds.

It was moving.

All. By. Itself.

Then, before anyone could even try to react, the empty suit looked down at her, its visor glowing a sickly green, and in a familiar voice, it spoke.

" ** _SURPRISE_**!"

End Notes:

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone. I'm gonna try to pump out at least one more chapter before the new year, but just in case I don't make it, I'll see you all in January. Peace.


	5. Chapter 5

In kind of a rush, so let's just get right to the good stuff. Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney. Nefarious and everything else is owned by Insomniac Games and Sony Interactive Entertainment. Enjoy.

The Breakup: Chapter 5.

For what felt like an eternity, the room was deathly silent.

No one dared to move a muscle.

Those who could were too scared to even breathe.

But out of all of them, Dominator was by far the most afraid.

For not only was she standing in the shadow of a fearsome titan, she was also staring directly into the eyes of her own dark reflection.

The armor that she herself had forged from the molten metal of this mighty warship was now to be used against her, and by a madman whom she had personally pushed to such extremes.

To say that the former villainess was in a tight spot would be an understatement of the highest caliber.

For you see, dear reader, Dominator was now trapped in a Hell of her own creation.

"So, are you gonna say something, or are you just gonna stand there and stare at me like some kind of perv?" the empty suit said mockingly; seeming to delight in turning the former villainess' own words against her.

"No… this can't be happening." Dominator said in a frightened whisper; which only served to amuse the hulking nightmare. "This has to be a dream or something. This can't be real. It just can't be."

"Oh, but it is, _Deandra_." The molten monster said condescendingly. "Behold! The next stage of my techno-evolution; a body that is as strong and as powerful as my mind!"

"I don't know how you did this Nefarious, but stealing my armor doesn't make you strong." The former villainess replied in a feeble attempt to sound unafraid. "A loser with power is still just a loser."

"Your _armor_. HA! You think I went through all this effort just to steal a measly suit of _armor_? Oh no, what I've done is much more interesting. You see, I've uploaded the contents of my CPU directly into your ship's mainframe; effectively merging my consciousness with every system onboard. So in a way, this entire ship is my body now. **_I AM THE WORLD EATER_**!"

At that last declaration, the walls of the Throne Room began to shake. Dominator tried to take a step towards Wander, but her movements did not go unnoticed.

"Aw~ Leaving so soon? Why don't you _stay awhile_!"

Just then, the floor opened up and Dominator was plunged into a world of darkness. Moments later, she returned to the world of light, only to find herself in Nefarious' molten grasp.

"Comfy, dear?" he asked mockingly as he gave her abdomen a not-so-gentle squeeze. "Aw~ But you look so lonely. Maybe you need a playmate."

From somewhere behind her, Dominator heard a strange _PLORP_ , followed swiftly by a _WOOSH_. Then, before she could even try to guess what had happened, she felt something warm and fuzzy brush up against the back of her neck; she recognized it immediately.

"Wander." She said hopefully. "Is that you?"

"Yeah… it's me."

"Are you alright, Pumpkin?"

"Yeah… I'm fine. Just a little sore is all."

"Aw~ What a touching reunion." Nefarious mocked them yet again, before turning his attention to something else. "Oops, almost forgot."

From somewhere in the distance, Dominator heard a familiar _PLORP_ and _WOOSH_. Moments later, Sylvia's head popped out of the madman's opposite fist.

Now they were all trapped.

"Hey! What the heck, Doc!" Sylvia shouted at the hulking monstrosity as she futilely tried to break free. "We had a deal!"

"Yeah… about that. While we were apart, I had some time to think. And my thought was, I hate you."

"Why you flarf narfin son of a…"

"Sylvia…" Wander spoke up suddenly, his tone labored yet deathly serious. "What is he talking about? What deal? What are you doing here?"

"Wander, I swear I can explain but…"

"Oh please, allow me." Nefarious cut in sinisterly. "It's all rather simple really. Sylvia was angry at Dominator for taking you away from her. So she cut a deal with me that would allow her to murder your _dearly beloved_ without you ever finding out."

"What?"

"No! That's not true! He's lying!"

"Oh, _am I_?"

Just then, Dominator heard something go _CLICK_ , and a familiar voice emerged from some unseen speakers.

 _So, my dear, do we have ourselves a deal?_

 _If it means that filthy skank Dominator finally gets what she deserves, then I'm up for anything._

 _That's just what I wanted to hear._

 _POP!_

A sudden, awkward silence fell over the room.

Dominator couldn't turn her head to look at Wander, but she had a clear view of Sylvia as the color slowly drained from her face.

"W-Wander… I swear, it's not what it sounds like."

"Oh really? You mean that wasn't _your_ voice on the intercom just now? You know, the one that just said it wanted Dominator to _get what she deserves_."

"That… That's not what I meant."

" _Isn't it_? Don't tell me you're still clinging to that pathetic delusion that this is all about avenging your planet."

Sylvia said nothing, but her expression grew more uncomfortable by the second.

"Oh Sylvia, Zbor was just a worthless hunk of rock that you never cared about in the first place. Why else would you have avoided it for over twenty years." The mad doctor continued cruelly. "And as for your family, they're alive and equally meaningless to you. So you're not doing this for them. Oh no, this is all about _him_ and only _him_."

As she listened, Dominator's blood began to boil. She did not care for the way Nefarious was talking to Sylvia. If for no other reason than that it was the exact same way _she_ used to talk to people.

"Face it, Zbornak, Wander's the only _real_ friend you've ever had. His inherent goodness inspires you, motivates you to better yourself. To become more than just a common lowlife." The molten menace went on, his every word laced with poison. "And that's why you're so desperate to keep him. Because you know deep down that the second he leaves you'll go right back to your old ways. You know you don't have what it takes to make it on your own and that scares you, doesn't it? That's why you killed Screwball. That's why you wanted to kill Dominator. So that everything would stay the same and you'd have Wander all to yourself. Admit it!"

"No! That's not true!"

"Yes it is! And you know it, don't you! You know you're weak! You know you don't have what it takes to be a hero! You know you'll always be nothing but a two-bit thug! Just like your worthless, leg breaking father!"

"That's **_enough_**!" Dominator shouted, her voice echoing off the high walls. "Leave her alone, you Creep!"

This outburst, while not particularly caustic, was more than enough to earn her the mad doctor's attention; much to his apparent displeasure.

"Oh~ What's this now? A sudden burst of courage?"

"I don't need courage to stand up to a worm like you, Nefarious." The former villainess said boldly. "I mean, just look at you. Even in that fancy new suit, you're still the same sad, pathetic, cowardly little bully you always were!"

"Is **_that_** right?" the molten madman replied bitingly, before switching to a calmer and much slimier tone. "You know, I'm a little surprised at you, _Deandra_. So quick to defend the woman who tried to murder you."

"Yeah, well… It's not like she's the first."

"I thought as much." He replied snidely. "Funny thing though, when I was putting this whole thing together, I gave Sylvia specific instructions _not_ to kill you; partially so I could get those idiots outside to trust me, but mostly so I could have the pleasure of ending you myself. But you know, part of me was hoping she'd just snap and break your neck without thinking. That way, when we got to this point, I'd have the pleasure of telling Wander how his _best friend_ selfishly murdered both the love of his life and his unborn child."

Just then, Dominator felt her heart skip a beat; and not in a good way.

"W-What did you just say?"

"Oh~ Did you not know?" he asked with cruel amusement. "See, I scanned your body back on Cabo Lunara, just to make sure you weren't carrying any weapons, and I found the little parasite growing in your guts. Figured it could only be _his_."

Again, Dominator could not turn her head to look at Wander, but she still had a clear view of Sylvia; and she looked just about as sick as she felt.

"Oh~ I love it when crap just lines up like this. It makes my job _so_ much easier."

Just then, a large door on the other side of the room _WOOSHED_ open, and in came a massive Super-Lava-Bot, with prisoners in tow.

"Ugh! Agh! Ugh! Let me go you stupid robot!" roared a familiar skeleton-man as he futilely tried to escape his molten bonds.

"Better save your strength, Killer. Something tells me we're gonna need it." Said the mysterious purple female beside him.

Once they were finally close enough, the molten war machine picked up its captives and held them up for its new master to see.

"Case in point~" the molten madman said wickedly. "Now that all my _guests_ have arrived, we can finally move on to the main event."

"Wait… Nefarious?" Lord Hater said confusedly, as he finally got a good look at his surroundings. "But how the… and the armor… and you… and… and them… and… Okay, I'm officially lost."

"Don't worry your feeble, ant sized brain about the details, Hater. All you need to know is that I've betrayed you and you're all gonna die."

"Ha! Fat chance, Dr. Dookinstien!" Hater replied brazenly. "Apparently you've forgotten all about my all-powerful electricity… uh… powers! In mere moments, I shall break free of my bonds and burn you to a crisp. **_HIYAH_**!"

But alas, nothing happened.

"I said, **_HIYAH_**!"

Yet again, nothing happened.

" ** _HIYAH_**! **_HIYAH_**! **_HIYAH_**! WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING!"

"Because I _didn't_ forget about your powers, Lord Loser." Nefarious answered mockingly. "That's why I modified my new Lava-Drones to act as energy dampening devices. So as long as that one's got you in its grasp, you're basically powerless."

"Oh yeah! Well… uh… Peepers is still free! He'll stop you!"

"Peepers… Peepers… Oh, you mean the little short guy I gutted in the mainframe."

"Wha… what?" went the dark lord as all the bravado suddenly drained from his voice.

"You heard me. I bled him like a stuck pig, and then I threw him down a garbage chute. He's dead, Hater. **_Dead_**!"

"Why you lowdown son of a sidewinder!" the purple female said angrily as her cloaked companion continued to look devastated. "When I get outta here I'm gonna…"

"You're gonna **_what_** , Ripov! You're _gonna_ **_WHAT_**!" the mad doctor roared demonically. "You've got **_nothing_**! You hear me, **_nothing_**! **_Nothing_** to threaten me with! **_Nothing_** to do with all your strength!"

Hater winched a little as Nefarious' voice grew ever more threatening, but the woman, apparently named Ripov, didn't even blink.

"Just look at you! All you costumed imbeciles traipsing about the galaxy, acting like you're the final word in villainy. **_HA_**! You don't even know the meaning of the word." The molten menace continued as his tone grew unnervingly calm. "Oh… but I will teach you. Right here, right now."

Just then, over two hundred view screens suddenly emerged from the surrounding walls; each one displaying the same wall of static.

"Now then, watch the monitors~"

As if responding to his verbal cue, the screens all simultaneously clicked on; each one displaying the exterior of the mighty lava ship from a different angle.

"What you're all seeing is a live feed from each of the surrounding warships. You will note that this armada is comprised of roughly 95.08% of this galaxy's current villain population. You will also note that each ship is approximately the same distance away from this one; as per my instructions." The mad doctor explained in a mock scholarly tone. "With me so far? Good~ Now, this next part is _really_ important, so please, try not to blink."

Up on the monitors, the lava-ship's hull began to glow an unnatural green, and spark with a strange, otherworldly energy. Then, before anyone could even try to question it, the strange aura began to expand; eventually taking the shape of an enormous lime-colored dome.

Slowly, the dome grew larger and larger, steadily inching its way toward the various cameras.

Closer and closer, until at last… the screens were nothing but static once again.

From somewhere off in the distance, an earthshattering explosion could be heard, but no one paid it any mind; they were all too mesmerized by the static.

That horrible, _hideous_ static.

"So~ Any questions?"

End Notes:

Happy New Year.

I'm tired.

Peace.


	6. Chapter 6

First chapter of the new year. I hope you like it. Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney. Nefarious and everything else is owned by Insomniac Games and Sony Interactive Entertainment. Enjoy.

The Breakup: Chapter 6.

"You _monster_!" Ripov shouted venomously at the molten madman; much to his apparent amusement. "You coldblooded _psychopath_! You'll pay for this!"

"Yeah… I highly doubt that." He replied with a sort of bored callousness. "See, this is what I hate most about this galaxy. You villains all talk a big game, but at the end of the day, none of you have the stomach for _real_ villainy. You've got absolutely no taste for blood."

"But she's right, you know." Wander spoke up suddenly; much to the surprise of everyone else in the room. "You will pay for what you've done. Perhaps not today or tomorrow, but someday. Because there will always be people who stand up to men like you."

"Maybe so, _Oldman_. But I'll have one hell of a time until then." The mad doctor said amusedly. "Just picture it. With this ship, my brain, and virtually no competition, I'll have this whole galaxy under my control in six months. Then, once I've eliminated all the _undesirable_ lifeforms, I'll forge a mighty army and expand my reign across the cosmos. Within five years, I'll control every galaxy between here and Polaris. Then… I think I'll pay some old friends a visit."

"You're a madman, Nefarious." Ripov spat contemptuously.

"HA! Are you kidding? Between getting stuck on an asteroid for two years and that idiot Qwark turning me into a robot, I'm surprised I'm even _this_ sane." The mad doctor replied manically before forcing himself to call down a little. "But enough stalling. It's time for the grand finale."

Once again responding to his verbal/mental commands, the ship suddenly opened up a large section of the floor, revealing a large, bubbling lava pit; it's purpose was obvious.

But before anyone could even begin to react, Nefarious stretched his new arms high into the air, made them loop around some inexplicable bars hanging from the ceiling, and then let them drop back down until his captives were once again at eyelevel.

"Well folks, this is it." The mad doctor said; feigning sentimentality. "I suppose I should say something poignant to commemorate the occasion, but the truth is I just plain hate all of you. Don't even have good reasons for two of you. I just flat-out hate your faces. Heck, if we'd met under different circumstances, I probably would've _melted_ your faces. HA! Anyway… Blah, Blah, Blah, and now you die."

And with that, the molten madman began to slowly lower his captives into the bubbling pit below.

But strangely enough, Dominator was not afraid.

Death was an inevitable and natural part of life, so as far as she was concerned, she had no reason to fear it. And that went for whatever lies beyond as well. So no, dear readers, Dominator was not the least bit afraid. She was sad. Sad beyond sorrow. Sad beyond despair. Not for herself, of course, but for Wander, the man who had given her so much happiness in such a short amount of time, and for the little life growing inside her, whom she would never get to know and love properly. Yes, compared to such a devastating loss, the thought of her own demise was merely a tiny drop in an ocean of misery.

"Wander, I…"

"I know, Deedee. I know." The orange nomad said calmly, in a clear attempt to ease her troubled mind. "Just close your eyes and try not to think about it. It'll all be over soon."

"What! No! You can't just give up!" Sylvia exclaimed as she futilely tried to break free. "You're Wander! You always know a way out!"

"Not this time, Syl. Sorry." He replied hollowly. "But listen, for what it's worth, I'm so happy I got to know both of you. The time we've spent together… well… it's made my crazy life a whole lot more bearable. I love you guys."

"Wander…"

"Pumpkin…"

"No tears now. Don't give him the satisfaction. Just close your eyes and… I'll see you on the other side."

And with that, both she and Sylvia obeyed his final order and waited for the inevitable.

Oh, how it tormented her.

The waiting.

It was far worse than even the most draconian form of torture.

But it wouldn't be much longer now.

She could already feel the icy chill of the lava running up the back of her neck.

Wait… icy chill?

Lava isn't supposed to be cold.

On a reflex, Dominator opened her eyes to investigate. But to her unimaginable surprise, the pool of boiling lava she'd seen just moments ago, had been transformed into a sheet of solid ice.

" ** _WHAT_**!" exclaimed Nefarious from high above; unintentionally mirroring her own thoughts.

A split-second later, the former villainess felt herself being propelled upward at high speed, then spun around like a yoyo, and then finally pulled back down. The whole thing happened so fast that it took her several moments to finally realize that she'd been released from the mad doctor's molten grasp.

But once she did, she noticed something else almost immediately. The walls, the ceiling, even the surrounding Dom-Bots; everything within the room was slowly being incased in ice. And from the way Nefarious was reacting, she could tell that this was not a part of his master plan.

"No! **No**! **_NO_**!" the molten madman cried in exasperation. "Stop freezing, you morons! Stop it right now!"

But of course, they did no such thing. The ice just continued to spread across the room like a bad rash; not even the mighty Super-Lava-Bot could escape its frigid embrace.

" ** _RAAAR_**! What the hell is going on here! Who is responsible for this!" Nefarious roared animalistically, as ice began to form around the base of his new body.

Just then, a familiar voice rang out from the far end of the Throne Room; one that caused everyone's eyes to go wide with shock.

"Hey, Doc! Remember me!"

" ** _WHAT_**!"

"No way…"

"Is that…"

" _Peepers_?"

And indeed it was, though he was not as Dominator remembered him. Apparently, the Grand Watchdog had just gone through some sort of harrowing ordeal. For he was breathing quite heavily and his uniform had been torn off and repurposed into an elaborate looking set of bandages.

"But… Bu-Bu-But-But… that's impossible! I _killed_ you!"

"Rule #96 of the Galactic Conqueror's Field Guide, 'Never throw an enemy down a hole, unless you make triple sure he can't climb back out'." The Supreme Watchdog said spitefully as he struggled to remain on his feet. "You got careless, Nefarious. And now you're gonna pay for it."

"You think this is over? HA! As if the great Dr. Nefarious could be bested so easily." The mad doctor said boastfully as the ice began to creep up his 'legs'. "It seems that you've forgotten all about my new body's adaptive capabilities. In ten minutes I'll be free, and then I'll make sure you _stay_ dead!"

"Actually, I didn't forget, that's why I decided to take a page out of your book, _Doctor_." Peepers replied cuttingly. "See, while you were busy going on about how smart you are, I uploaded a virus into the ship's CPU. As soon as this place is completely covered it'll kick in, and erase every last bit of data on your mainframe. Including you!"

"Y-You're bluffing! You don't have the guts to pull something like that!"

"Maybe I am and maybe I'm not. I guess you'll find out in about… seven minutes."

"NO! You're lying! You wouldn't dar-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!"

And with that, the molten madman's entire body was finally encased in ice; leaving Peepers free to do his work.

In one fluid motion, the Grand Watchdog pulled a small plasma pistol from his belt and fired six shots into the Super-Lava-Bot; now little more than a hulking ice sculpture.

 ** _BLAM!_**

 ** _BLAM!_**

 ** _BLAM!_**

 ** _BLAM!_**

 ** _BLAM!_**

 ** _BLAM!_**

And just like that, the mighty war machine shattered into a billion pieces, dropping its captives roughly on the floor.

"Ugh… my head…" the cloaked skeleton groaned as he slowly stood up amongst the debris.

"Hater! You and Ripov grab the others. We need to get out of here now!"

"What? You're not the boss of me!"

"I said **_NOW_**!"

"Yes Sir."

And with that, both villains set to work.

Much to Dominator's great confusion.

XXX

( _Several Minutes Later in the Ship's Mainframe)_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" cried a lanky, one-armed, scar faced automaton as it suddenly burst free from a patch of ice on the floor.

Once he was done screaming, the metal man took a moment to examine himself and breathed a sigh of relief.

" _Phew_. I knew I was smart to keep this old hunk of junk around." He said smugly as he stood up and brushed away some of the residual frost. "Nice try, Peepers. But your precious virus can't get me out here. All I have to do is wait until its run its course, and then I'm back in business. Do you hear that, you one-eyed bootlicker? I win! HA!"

" _Well now, I wouldn't say that_." Said a slightly gargled voice from somewhere just behind him. A quick investigation revealed that it was coming from the frozen terminal in the center of the room. " _Hello, Doctor. So nice to see you here._ "

"Peepers?"

" _If you're hearing this, then that means my plan worked. And as predicted, you've uploaded yourself back into your old body._ "

"What's going on here?"

" _So sorry, Doctor. But I'm afraid I haven't been entirely honest with you. You see, I never uploaded any virus. I just told you that so you'd disconnect yourself from the ship's CPU. And now that you're back out here in the real world, I can show you my real surprise._ "

"What the hell…"

Just then, an alarm started going off; followed swiftly by the voice of the ship's onboard computer.

" **Warning! Warning! Self-Destruct Protocol has been initiated! Core Meltdown in 90 Seconds.** **89… 88… 87… 86… 85…** "

" _The alarm should be going off right about now, so I'll try to talk louder so you can hear me._ "

" **80… 79… 78… 77… 76…** "

" _Now as you're no doubt aware, the ship's power core is going to explode in less than two minutes. More than enough time to punch in the seventeen-digit deactivation code and save your life. Or at least it would be… if you hadn't disconnected yourself from the ship's mainframe._ "

" **71… 70… 69… 68…** "

" _See, while you're stuck in your old body, you don't have the processing power to calculate all the possible combinations before the core explodes. You could try to put yourself back in, but that would take too long. And the closest working keyboard is completely covered in ice, so I'd say stopping the meltdown is pretty much impossible._ "

" **60… 59… 58… 57…** "

" _You could try to run away, but the nearest escape pod is about… half a kilometer that way. And with only a minute left… well, let's be honest, you're not exactly an athlete._ "

" **53… 52… 51…** "

" _I imagine by now you're pretty steamed, but don't take it too hard. This was a really good plan. Heck, I'd even call it genius. But I'm afraid you made one fatal mistake. You made me mad._ "

" **47… 46… 45…** "

" _See, I could've lived with you stabbing me in the back. I am a minion after all, and these things do happen. Heck, I can even overlook you wiping out my entire army. They were brave soldiers; they knew what they were getting into. But then you threatened Lord Hater, and that's something I can_ _ **never**_ _forgive. So now this is happening._ "

" **40… 39… 38…** "

" _This is it, Nefarious. This is how your story ends. No grand victory. No final battle with your arch nemesis. No nothing. You're just going to sit there, in that sad little room, and wait to die. All alone. The last rat on a sinking ship._ "

" **32… 31… 30…** "

" _And the best part is, no one will ever know you were here. You've already killed pretty much everyone from your alliance. And none of the survivors will ever breathe a word about your involvement; I'll make sure of that. The greatest betrayal in Galactic Villain History and you'll never get the credit for it. You'll just be forgotten. And that scares you a lot more than dying, doesn't it?_ "

" **23… 22… 21…** "

" _But hey, I've rambled on long enough. You probably want a few moments alone with your thoughts. Au revoir, Docteur._ "

" **15… 14… 13…** "

As the countdown continued, Nefarious just stood there; his entire body trembling with rage.

" **12… 11… 10…** "

As his mechanical mind was overwhelmed with primal fury, the mad doctor began to grind his 'teeth' and snarl like a rabid animal.

" **9… 8… 7…** "

Eventually, his anger grew so intense that it caused his optic sensors to malfunction; he literally went blind with rage.

" **6… 5… 4…** "

With his death imminent and his senses impaired, Nefarious used what little self-control he had left to force out a few parting words.

" ** _Damn_** you…"

" **3… 2…** "

" ** _PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!_** "

" **1… Goodbye.** "

 ** _BOOOOOOOOM!_**

End Notes:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CATHARSIS! See you next time. Peace.


	7. Chapter 7

Okay, this is the last full chapter of the story, so let's just get right to it. Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney. Nefarious and everything else is owned by Insomniac Games and Sony Interactive Entertainment. Enjoy.

The Breakup: Chapter 7.

( _Nine Hours Later_ )

It was your typical evening at the Oliver Wendell Funny-Name Memorial Hospital.

Which in other words meant it was loud, crowded, and reeking of ammonia and formaldehyde.

Of course, none of these things were of any particular interest to Sylvia at the moment; for she was much too preoccupied trying to come to grips with the events of the last twenty-four hours to be thinking about gross hospital smells.

It had been rather touch and go during those last eleven minutes, but thankfully they'd all managed to get out of range just before the ship exploded. Unfortunately, none of them were in any shape to go much further. Peepers graciously offered to take them all to the nearest hospital for treatment, and he even agreed to a temporary truce to keep Hater from pulling something while they were being looked after, but only if they all agreed never to tell anyone about Nefarious' involvement in the whole ugly affair. An unusual request, but doable.

Anyway, shortly after arriving, the motley band was split up into three groups. Peepers, Hater, and Ripov were carted off somewhere for examination; hopefully, at least in her opinion, never to be seen again. Wander, who was seemingly unhurt after the whole ordeal, elected to stay by Dominator's side while the doctors made sure their baby was okay. Which left Sylvia, whose checkup lasted all of five minutes and revealed only a few minor cuts and bruises, all alone with her thoughts.

Now she was just sitting there, in a lonely corner of the main lobby, waiting for the end to come.

Oh, the endless waiting.

She both hated and loved it so fervently.

Hated it because every passing minute brought forth a new and increasingly unpleasant scenario to playout in her addled mind.

Loved it because as long as it continued her friendship with Wander was still technically a reality.

But as soon as it ended, as soon as Wander returned from wherever he was, their friendship would die.

And all it would take is a few choice words.

"Is this seat taken?"

"Huh! Whah?" went Sylvia as a familiar voice pulled her back to reality. She quickly turned her head to investigate and, to no surprise, she found Wander standing there; his expression serious yet unreadable. "Uh… I mean, no, go right ahead."

"Thank you." The orange nomad replied politely; before taking the seat beside her.

"So… H-How are you?" she asked nervously.

"Oh, you know, same as always. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me either, so that's a plus. What about you?"

"About the same." She answered hollowly. "So… how's…."

"Deedee's doing just fine." He cut in unexpectedly. "The baby too. As it turns out, Amphiboid wombs are surprisingly durable. Something about an extra layer of… something or other. I don't know. I could never understand any of that medical mumbo jumbo."

"That's good. So… I guess this means you're gonna be a dad in seven months."

"Actually, it's more like twenty-two."

"What?"

"Yeah… apparently Amphiboid pregnancies last a minimum of two years. Something to do with why they live so long. Who knew?"

"Yeesh. Two years of mood swings and morning sickness. Can't say I envy you, buddy."

"Personally, I see it as a bold new adventure. Plus, Deedee says that once her belly starts getting big in the sixth trimester, her hormones will make her act extra girly and affectionate. So I've got that to look forward to."

"Yeah, I guess you… I… I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"You know what, so just stop it okay."

"Stop what?"

"Stop pretending like everything's the same. For Grop's sake, a few hours ago I tried to kidnap the love of your life so a bunch of costumed nut jobs could skin her like a cat. And then it turns out she was pregnant the whole time and that only makes it a million times worse. And _please_ don't say you forgive me, because not even _you_ can overlook something like _this_!"

"Sylvia, I… no, you're right. I can't just overlook this. What you did was… _monstrous_." The orange nomad admitted. "But still, that doesn't give me the right to torture you for it."

"W-What?" the blue Zbornak went confusedly.

"Sylvia, you made a choice. A choice made in anger and jealousy, but a choice nonetheless. And just like every other choice that has ever been made, it comes with consequences. In this case, that means you have to learn to live with the knowledge of what you've done. And trust me, that's a thousand times worse than anything I've got to say."

"Yeah… well, it still feels like you're letting me off too easy."

"Sorry, but I've never been one for throwing stones. It's just not in my nature." The furry wanderer said with a sort of lighthearted seriousness. "Besides, at least some of this is my fault."

"No, Wander, that's not true."

"Yes it is. Most of this whole mess could've been avoided if I'd just been honest with you from the start. But I guess I… I underestimated how much I really meant to you." He explained soulfully. "Nefarious may have been a hateful, psychotic bully, but he was right about one thing. This was never about Zbor. This was about you and me. Specifically, about how you were afraid of losing me."

"That's not… I mean… yeah, it's true, but can you blame me? Before I met you, I was just a two-bit thug; a lowlife gun for hire. But then you showed up and… and… you bring out the best in me. I guess I was just scared that without you I'd… go back to being who I was."

"Sylvia, I'm honored that you think so highly of me, but I'm not some magic talisman that keeps you from doing bad. If you really want to be a better person, then you have to _choose_ to be one."

"You know it's not that easy."

"Never said it was, but then nothing in this life worth doing ever is." The orange nomad said philosophically. "It's the kind of thing you have to struggle with every day of your life. Its grueling, its maddening, and sometimes its even painful, but you just gotta plow through it. Otherwise the grief 'll kill you."

"Grief?"

"Yeah, well… you know what I mean."

"No, not really. But I think I get the gist." The blue Zbornak replied as a subtle smile crept across her lips. "You know, I think this is the longest you've ever gone without making a bad joke."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

"Yeah…" she said calmly, before her mind suddenly shifted to a much less pleasant subject. "So… what happens now?"

At first, Wander said nothing in response; he just closed his eyes and let out a deep, somewhat sad sounding sigh.

"Well… at first, Deedee and I considered spending some time apart. You know, to give me a chance to make things right with you. But after recent… _developments_ … I don't think that's gonna be possible."

"So… what _are_ you gonna do?"

"Simple, I've asked Deedee to marry me."

" _What_?"

"And she said yes."

"Wha…actually, that part's not that surprising."

"Yep, we've got the date all picked out and everything. We're doing it six weeks from next Tuesday."

"So soon? I mean… uh… don't these things take a little more time to put together?"

"Yeah, well… we've already called Demurra, and she said that was the quickest she could organize something like this. And the sooner we have the wedding the sooner we can leave."

" _Leave_?"

"You know, leave this galaxy and move on to the next one."

"B-B-But, you guys don't have to leave. You could just stay here for a while. You know, to raise your baby."

"No… I'm sorry, but that wouldn't work."

"Why not?"

"It's… complicated." The orange nomad began, in his usual ' _I'm not going to tell you_ ' voice. "But I'll try to explain it as best I can. You see, Sylvia… I'm old."

"Yeah, I kinda figured. I mean, from what little I've heard, you gotta at least be in your seventies."

"No, you don't understand. Sylvia, I'm _really_ old. Like, over three hundred years old."

"W-What?"

"Sylvia I… I don't age like most people. I'm gonna live at least another seven hundred years, and look like this through most of it. Deedee's pretty much the same way, so we can be together through it all. But you… people like you… you die so young, and so fast. It's like watching a flower in a vase full of water; rotting away to nothing in just a few days."

"Yeesh, that's pretty grim."

"I know. That's why I always leave my partners behind whenever I move on to a new galaxy. For a while, I thought this time would be different. That our bond was strong enough to weather through any kind of… _unpleasantness_. But after today I… well, I just think leaving would be better for both of us."

"Yeah… I can kinda see your point. But you know, you guys don't have to leave right after you get married. You could hang around a little while. Like… until after the baby's born."

"That's a nice thought, but no. See, I always like to leave a galaxy in a better state than when I found it. And with nearly every villain either dead or in hiding, I'd say now's as good a chance as any. If I stay too much longer, something new 'll turn up and then I'll be stuck here forever."

"Would that really be so bad?"

"Maybe not for you, but for people like me and Deedee…"

"I get it. Always on the move. Always on the lookout for something new and exciting."

"Pretty much, yeah."

"So… I guess that means this is it." The blue Zbornak said somberly. "This is where it all ends. This is where we break up the partnership and go our separate ways."

"Yeah…" the orange nomad replied, sounding equally despondent; only for his demeanor to suddenly perk up just a bit. "But~ Maybe not right away."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well~ Deedee and Demurra said they wanted to handle all the wedding prep themselves. So~ For the next six weeks, I've got nothing to do. And there are still a few places in the galaxy I'd like to check out before I leave."

"Wait… Are you saying…"

"That's right, Syl. So what do you say? One last tour before the big breakup?"

"I… I don't know what to say…." Sylvia replied, clearly thrown by this sudden turn of events. "I mean, after everything I've done… You're just gonna forgive me? Just like that?"

"Oh, I never said anything about forgiving you." Wander replied; his tone becoming slightly more serious. "But… a good chunk of this whole mess is my fault. So I feel like I owe you. Plus, I'd probably never forgive myself if I left things bad between us. You know, after all we've been through together."

"Wow… you really are something else. You know that."

"Yeah… So~ What do you say? One last adventure?"

"Are you kiddin'? A pack of bloodthirsty Zork Beasts couldn't keep me away from this deal."

"Aw~ C'mere you big lug~"

And with that, the two friends sealed their final covenant with a big, bone crushing hug.

Neither of them knew this at the time, but over the next few weeks, Wander and Sylvia would perform some of the most amazing feats of their career.

However, for the moment, they were merely two old compadres trying to reconnect.

Unfortunately, said moment was soon ruined, as Wander's face turned uncharacteristically sour.

"Hey, wait a minute." He said, sounding genuinely furious. "You think my _jokes_ are _bad_?"

"Oh… right…" she replied; suddenly feeling like a deer caught in someone's headlights. "Okay… here's the thing about _that_."

End Notes:

Next Chapter is the Epilogue. Then I go on break again until February. Until then, I hope everyone had fun and I'll see you in the next one. Peace.


	8. Epilogue

Hello everyone and welcome to the Epilogue. Now I know what you're all thinking. 'Doc, with your two main antagonists already dead, what are you gonna do for the grand finale? What final problem will Wander and Deedee have to solve before they start their new life together? What will happen to Sylvia once they leave the galaxy forever? And what about Lord Hater?' Well, since I'm such an incorrigibly tease, I've decided to give you a small taste of what's to come in the last installment. So with that said, let's get right to it. Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney. Nefarious and everything else is owned by Insomniac Games and Sony Interactive Entertainment. Enjoy.

The Breakup: Epilogue.

( _Somewhere in the Galaxy: Five Weeks Later_ )

The interior of _Neckbeard's_ _Cosmic Curio & Pan-Dimensional Oddity Emporium _was more or less what you'd expect from someone who dressed like they lived in their mother's basement.

Drab colored walls.

Faint smell of mothballs.

Items arranged in a confusing manner than can only be described as 'Organized Chaos'.

Thoroughly unappealing to the average consumer, but quite homey to those who favored the avant-garde.

Take for example, a certain camo clad arachnomorph hunter by the name of Emily Ripov.

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

Went the little bell on the checkout counter as the purple-skinned nimrod feverishly tapped on it to gain the owner's attention.

"I can do this all day, you know." She said tauntingly to the unseen administrator. "I got _nowhere_ else to be."

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

 ** _DING!_**

" ** _Alight! I'm coming_**!" yelled the owner from some unknown location. Moments later, he appeared before her in a bright flash of magical energy; revealing himself to be an unkempt, heavyset fellow in a wizard's cloak and cap. Upon seeing her, his rage quickly turned to mild annoyance, and his face morphed to reflect this. "Oh, it's just you. What do you want?"

"Oh, I'm just super, Neckbeard. Thanks for asking." Replied the woman sarcastically; much to the larger man's displeasure.

"Ripov. _What_ do you _want_?"

"Well, now that you mention it, I…"

"No, no, don't tell me. I shall use my superior brain power to deduce the answer." The chubby wizard said arrogantly as he began to stroke his scruffy chin in contemplation. "Now… let me see… In the five years since I first opened this shop, you've been in here a grand total of one hundred and ninety-six times and purchased nothing. So I can only assume that you're here to try to sell me something. You're carrying a duffel bag, so it can't be more arachnomorph venom. Therefore, it must be some sort of artifact you've recently acquired. And since this is _you_ we're talking about, I can only assume that it is something I neither want nor need in my establishment. So to my mind, the only question that remains is, 'Do you want to leave my shop quietly, or be thrown out like last time'?"

"Will you at least look at it?" the purple-skinned huntress replied, in a tone both pleading and insulting. "C'mon~ It's not like you've got anything better to do."

"UGH! Fine." The fat man yielded as she happily pulled the object from her bag and placed it on the counter. "But this had better be goo…."

The words died in his throat as he finally got a look at the infamous artifact.

It was a skull.

A medium sized, soot covered, partially melted, metal skull.

"Is that…"

"Eyup."

"Would you mind if I…"

"No, go right ahead."

And with that, Neckbeard proceeded to examine the robotic remains; much to Ripov's amusement.

First, he looked over the left eye; now little more than an empty socket. There was a thin red streak just below it; presumably the residue from when the subject's pupil had melted. Next, he examined the other eye, which had apparently been blown off completely; exposing what appeared to be a mass of fried circuitry. Then, he moved on to the mouth. The upper and lower jaws had been fused together in several places; giving it the appearance of some sort of muzzle. Lastly, he looked up at the cranium, which also appeared to have been blown off completely; all that remained was a mélange of twisted gears and melted glass.

In short, the skull was in pretty rough shape, but said shape was still very recognizable.

"Is this…"

"That's right, Jumbo." The purple female said jocularly. "Dr. Anton Nefarious, or what's left of him anyway. Incontestable proof that the metal menace is 100% deceased."

"But… how? Where did you…"

"Long story, Chubs. And for personal reasons I can't go into the details. But trust me, this is the real deal."

"So it would seem." The chubby wizard said, his tone suddenly turning skeptical. "Although, crafting a convincing forgery wouldn't be too difficult; even for someone of your limited intelligence."

"Run any test on it you want, Big Chief, but they'll all turn out the same. This is real, man. As real as it gets."

"Okay… let's pretend for a moment that I believe you. How much are you asking for it?"

"Oh, you can have this hunk of junk free of charge. If I wanted money, I would've gone to someone with deeper pockets. Like a sub-galactic dictator or a voodoo priest. Heck, I know this one guy in the Polaris Galaxy who'd give his left femur just to look at this thing?"

"Alright, then what _do_ you want?"

"Information." She answered bluntly. "See, while I was looking for this thing, I found something else. Something weird. Something I thought _you_ might know something about."

"Oh really, and what pray tell might that be?"

Instead of answering, Ripov reached back into her open duffel bag and held up the artifact in question for him to see.

To her great amusement, the chubby wizard's eyes went as wide as dinner plates and his mouth hung open in shock.

'Hot Dang!' she thought to herself excitedly as she inspected her prize; a pair of solid gold scissors covered in flawless black opals. 'I knew I hit the jackpot this time!'

End Notes:

Coming in February: The Final Problem.

See you next time folks, for the grand finale.

Until then, Peace.


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